thin iceRated: PG
Posted: August 17, 2000
Rating:PG
Notes: 1) Part of the Orla thread. 2) The dream references occur in By Sun and Candlelight.
3)There are also references to "Morbidity".
4) This piece started out as an experimental Wesley/Cordelia effort, but,well, read on.
"Are you busy Cordelia?”“Mmm?” Cordelia entered the last line of data and hit save. Wesley stood silently in front of the desk, hands clasped over his open jacket. “You wanted something?” prompted Cordelia.
“Yes,” he hesitated slightly, “Would you, er, care to join me for dinner tonight?”
“Oh - well we haven’t had Mexican take-out for a while.”
“Well, no I....”
“Or Chinese would be good.”
“Actually, Cordelia, I was considering a more formal sit down meal...”
“McDonald’s?”
“French...”
“Fries?”
“No, Cordelia! Please! Will you allow me to finish a sentence!” pleaded Wesley.
“Sorry,” Cordelia grimaced at the computer screen and pulled another folder from the small pile on the desk.
“I thought a French restaurant would be pleasant and well, different.”
“Add ‘expensive’ to the description Wesley. I’m over budget already this week, as usual!”
“Well - er, I would pay for the meal, Cordelia.”
“You? Why? You are as money-less as I am. Wait,” she added suspiciously, “Have you broken something around here?”
“No, I...”
“And I am not going to take on your laundry as well as Angel’s, so don’t think...”
“Cordelia!” Wesley’s tone rose an exasperated notch or two, “When a gentleman asks a lady to dinner he doesn’t usually expect her to pay!”
“Maybe not with money, Wesley but there are more ways to - hang on a minute. Is this a date?” she asked, with an unfortunate note of disbelief creeping into her tone.
“That was the general idea - unless of course you would rather it not be a date.... simply friends enjoying an evening out?”
“An evening out? Where are we going?” Angel's voice echoed from the stairwell a moment before he appeared in the doorway.
A blush crept up into Wesley’s cheeks.
“Not you,” said Cordelia.
“I’m not your friend?” he asked with quiet astonishment.
“You can put away the sad puppy eyes, Angel - this isn’t an ‘all of your friends’ type of evening,” explained Cordelia.
“Cordelia, if Angel would like to join us?” interjected Wesley.
“No - I do not do threesomes.”
“Cordelia!” ruptured Wesley.
“I meant - ugh! Wesley you know what I mean.”
“I don’t,” said a bewildered Angel, “Just a minute - are you two going on... on a ... a date?”
“No,” said Wesley.
“Yes,” said Cordelia. “Wesley, make up your mind. Are you asking me out or not?”
“Yes,” muttered Wesley.
“Angel, Wesley and I are going out for the evening,” Cordelia said with finality as she glanced up at Angel. He looked confused but simply shrugged and wandered away to his office.
“We don’t have to go anywhere fancy, Wesley.”“I would like to take you to a respectable restaurant, Cordelia, not some greasy fast-food outlet.”
“I wasn’t suggesting take-out! Geeze, you can have a pleasant evening without paying a fortune.” Cordelia sat back in her chair, gently swivelling. “I know, why don’t we pick up some gourmet bagels from the deli and a bottle of wine and go down to the beach, maybe Hermosa?”
“The beach? You and me? Forgive me, but that sounds a little ... intimate ... for a first evening ... Cordelia.”
Cordelia looked at him, puzzled. “It would be you and me wherever we went, Wesley. Intimate? Did you have to use.... No offence, but, eww.”
“You two decided where you are going yet?” asked Angel, poking his head around the door.
“No. Wesley doesn’t want to get ‘intimate’. The Democratic Convention is looking good,” said Cordelia.
Angel quickly straightened up and strode into the room. “Intimate?”
“Cordelia, I did not say that I...”
“You didn’t? Good,” said Angel. “Hold that thought Wesley.”
“Hey! This is my date! I’ll do any telling, thank you very much Angel!” declared Cordelia. For heaven’s sake. If no one was good enough to take her out why didn’t Angel ask her out himself? Huh! No, don't even go there Cordelia Chase. Think happy.
“Fine. I’m gone,” mumbled Angel, “Um, Wesley - could you see me for a minute before you leave tonight? I should be back in an hour. And - if either of you are interested - I'm actually working.” Angel clumped down the stairwell. True to his word, he was finally gone.
Cordelia watched him leave. For all their closeness, recently Cordelia felt she didn’t know where she stood with Angel. Somedays she could liken their relationship to a see-saw.
Friendly, distant, affectionate, cold, relaxed, grumpy, reaching, spurning.
The last two weeks since her close encounter with almost-Angelus had been particulary abrasive. Cordelia could argue Angel’s behaviour away as understandable - and frequently did so - she simply wished that she could help him feel better about himself. Not that her behaviour this afternoon was helping, she thought. She sighed and wondered how she could get out of this particular corner.
Wesley sat impatiently waiting for Angel to return to the office. Cordelia had decided to make a quick trip home to change into more suitable clothing while Wesley remained, for what Cordelia termed, the “Talk”.“He tried to give all my dates the third degree, Wesley, and he thought he could tell me to be home by a set time! And now, just because Angel and I have become - are...well, close, doesn’t mean he can....anyway, don’t fall for it!”
“After your encounter with Wilson you can hardly .... regardless, I will not put up with a lecture from Angel on behaviour towards a lady!” Even so, Wesley did wait. He was already beginning to regret having asked Cordelia to dinner and couldn’t help doubting his own motives. Telling himself that he only wanted to spoil Cordelia a little after the horror of Vocah he realised the impetus was also due to the concern he felt at seeing the growing closeness between Cordelia and Angel, their friendship deepening by the day. Hardly an honest or worthy reason to ask a young lady to dine. Nor did he have the confidence to think he could distract Cordelia from Angel’s affection. In retrospect, there was hardly any point to the exercise. Wesley began to wonder why Cordelia had even accepted the invitation. To annoy Angel? To tease Wesley?
Wesley stood up and took a deep breath. He could hear the familiar footsteps in the stairwell.
“Angel, before you launch into a lecture which, I might add, I would certainly not stomach coming from you, you may like to know that Cordelia and I have changed our plans slightly for the evening.”Angel had barely stepped into the office before Wesley had begun his refutation. “I wasn’t going to lecture you, Wesley,” Angel prevaricated calmly, “ - but go on.”
“You weren’t? Oh. Well. We have decided to go to the beach - as Cordelia suggested - and try out some roller-blading or roller-blades - whatever the term is...anyway, we... I thought, possibly ... you would care to join us?”
“Courage failing, Wesley?” asked Angel as he brushed past Wesley on the way to his chair.
“Somewhat,” he admitted with a sigh.
“Why did you ask Cordelia out?”
“The idea seemed reasonable - on the spur of the moment - she doesn’t get out much nowadays - and well I, ...please come,” he pleaded.
“You heard Cordelia, she doesn’t want me along,” Angel said flatly.
“Ah, but that was when we were talking about a proper date - even so, I am sure she was trying to vex you - or me - or both! Now, something informal such as roller-blading...skating...”
“I’ve never tried roller-skates.”
“Then this is your opportunity!” said Wesley enthusiastically.
“No, I can’t. Give it a go with her Wesley - she deserves some amusement ....”
The front door opened and lightly banged shut. Cordelia was back, now dressed in a pair of black leggings and a long flowing cotton top.
“Cordelia! I was just explaining to Angel the change in plans. Do you know, he has never been roller-blading before? I thought it may be a fun evening for all of us!”
Cordelia impassively considered Wesley’s nervously winking expression.
“You’ve never been on roller-blades? There’s a chance you might end up on your backside?” she asked almost hopefully.
Angel stood several paces behind Wesley, slightly shaking his head. “I can go another time.”
“No, Wesley’s right. Could be ... fun!” Cordelia turned away to drop her bag onto the desk. “And Angel - make sure you eat before we leave. I don’t think we can buy triple-blood thick-shakes with extra plasma at the pier.”
Wesley attempted to keep his sigh of relief as inaudible as possible.
Angel visualised spanking Cordelia, an image that gave him great inner satisfaction.
“Wesley! Careful!” Cordelia made a grab for Wesley’s arm as he teetered none too gracefully. “Here, give me your hand.”“I’m fine Cordelia. Thank you, but I might sit down for a short spell.”
“No, we have only just arrived. You can’t give up first attempt. Angel - tell him!” Cordelia appealed to her now complacent companion.
“I simply don’t feel that my legs have been designed for roller-skates.”
“Blades, Wesley, these are roller-blades,” reminded Cordelia.
“Wesley try and keep your feet closer together,” offered Angel.
“How is it you don’t have any difficulty? You said you hadn’t been roller-skating ...blading, before!”
“I haven’t. I did used to ice-skate.”
“Oh wow !” enthused Cordelia. “Back in the good old? On frozen lakes and rivers? Did you wear those....oh! Wesley - look out!”
Wesley tumbled into the back of a young woman, sending them both sprawling inelegantly to the ground. Angel started forward to help untangle the legs and arms but Cordelia grabbed his arm and started to pull him away.
“Come on...leave them to get close,” she said, continuing to tug Angel as he looked back over his shoulder at the wriggling mass on the boardwalk.
“What? What do you mean ‘close’? Does Wesley know that lady?”
“Please, how can he know her? They have just bumped into each other. But she’s by herself and she looks nice and not old - at least, from the glimpse I had she looked okay, - come on, Angel - he doesn’t get to meet many women.”
Cordelia smiled up at Angel. Her recent exasperation with him had died as quickly as it had risen, aided, no doubt, by Angel’s currently relaxed, post-spanking demeanour.
Angel felt the grin tugging at his mouth. “You have to be the most maddening.... most gorgeous woman!”
“Does that mean you aren’t annoyed with me anymore? You were mad at me this afternoon, weren’t you?” Cordelia sighed. “And I was mad at you.”
Angel didn’t answer. Instead he reached across for Cordelia’s hand and wound his arm around her waist, drawing her close to his side. In an instant they were flying up the boardwalk, Cordelia lengthening her strides to keep up with Angel’s increasing speed. She wanted to squeal in delight but she was too busy trying to maintain the accelerating pace.
Cordelia was not at all prepared for Angel’s sudden halt. She was still travelling on the momentum when Angel pulled her around to his chest, pushing the air from her lungs as she collided into him. Cordelia gasped for breath that became even more elusive when Angel quickly covered her panting mouth with his lips, pushing his tongue between her teeth and into her warmth until he felt a fist pumelling repeatedly at his shoulder.
He was kissing Cordelia, damn. Gently releasing her, Angel rolled backwards, dismayed at the impulsive act. Cordelia caught her breath.
“Cordelia.....”
“I only needed to breathe Angel,” and she illustrated the need with several deep breaths. “Look, I’m fine now.” Cordelia followed Angel, skating close to his side. “Do you want to try that kiss again? I was too busy suffocating back there to get fully involved.”
“You know the reasons..... You’ve seen for yourself what can happen.”
“Just once I would like for something nice to happen and you not push me away afterwards.”
“I am always so miserable to you?” he asked, folding her close once again.
“I know I’m supposed to understand...I should after all this time - and I do, usually - but sometimes it gets too much, when you become distant and cold - I want to shout out - does that make me bad or selfish?” she muttered into his shirt. “Is it wrong to wish, Angel?”
“Of course not - nor to dream,” he pressed his cheek against Cordelia’s hair, their shared dream flooding his vision, the feel of Cordelia’s smooth breasts in his mouth. How could dreaming be wrong? The taste of Cordelia’s creamy neck. How often did he wake in a cold, sticky mess after a sleeping fantasy? The sound of Cordelia gasping for release.
“Dreaming with you..... Cordelia?” Angel whispered the question into the girl’s dark hair.
The implied question stunned Cordelia. “Isn’t this the wrong way around? You are Mr Cautiously Sensible. It is you, isn’t it Angel?”
Cordelia pushed his head away gently, looking up into his eyes, seeing only Angel’s clear dark depths.
“You be the sensible one. Say 'no',” he breathed the words into her mouth, gathering her lips with his own.
“Here? Now? Angel....”
“Turn around.” Angel lifted Cordelia gently until she stood with her back curved into his body. Angel wrapped his arms snugly around Cordelia’s waist, buried his face into her hair where it swept over her neck and shoulder, and quietly entered through Cordelia’s luminous green-blue pools. The luscious peace descended over him. He stopped. He wanted to be with Cordelia, but this - not like this - lust brought on by....a cold, icy draught of air whipped forcibly around his legs, spiralling up until the wintry blast froze onto his face.
Angel opened his eyes.
“That was dramatic,” he said lightly and twirled Cordelia around to face him.
“Sorry. I should have said ‘no’ when you asked me to say ‘no’. I thought ... at first, I thought it would be okay, but...”
“Wrong reasons?”
“Mmmm.”
“Same here. I was about to leave when you sent that Arctic gale after me.”
“Hey, consider yourself fortunate! Given more time I am sure I could have come up with a real doozie of a passion killer!”
“Forgive me?”
“No need. I was getting aroused too. I mean, the movement and the holding and the.... I miss you.”
Angel didn’t answer, but looked around and, taking Cordelia’s hand, rolled over to a nearby bench seat. The boardwalk was almost empty. A lone cyclist jaunted past. The pier was a brightly lit spot in the distance.
“Do you think Wesley is okay?” asked Cordelia as she sat down beside Angel.
“Sure,” Angel replied absently. He hadn’t answered Cordelia’s ‘miss you’ comment. He didn’t know how to answer. Ever since moving out of her apartment, Angel had felt bereft. Being in Cordelia’s company for the best part of the day was only part compensation for being ‘home’. Maybe he could tell her the truth. A flash of blue and black in the corner of his eye made him glance quickly around. The dark glinting sea, the empty boardwalk. There was no-one.
“Can you imagine how much of a turn on ice-skating must be?” Cordelia was asking. Angel concentrated his attention on the girl beside him.
“Um ... yes, it is erotic.”
“Back in Ireland - did you take your girlfriends skating and seduce them on ice?” She was looking up at him, smiling and curious.
“I didn’t have girlfriends - not like you mean. Angelus got a kick out of ice-skating....with women.”
“Oh! Angelus type seduction - torture and bite.” Cordelia gazed out to the black sea.
Angel sat still, his fist had clenched into a tight ball, pushing deep into his thigh. The image of gliding over white-grey shiny wet ice, the flaring lantern lights reflecting a dull orange off the frozen surface, the cool breeze, a plump young woman encircled in his arm, giggling, kissing, a darkened corner, the arousing smell of fear, biting, sucking.
“The blood freezes on the ice.”
Cordelia slowly turned to Angel, noting as she did so the clenched fist and intense expression. For the second time, she took his face in her hands and peered into his eyes. No Angelus, but lurid pain.
“I never liked to waste blood - but on ice.... it was amazing to watch the drops splatter and freeze against the white - or...or on snow...the snow banks around the pond... the blood would seep in - I liked to watch...the white on red...the colours of death....so appropriate and poetic, don’t you think?”
“Shhh,” Cordelia pulled Angel’s head down to her shoulder and began to stroke the back of his neck. “There’s no ice here Angel.”
“It’s best on ice, Cordelia.” Angel worked his face into the curtain of hair until his nose and cheek nestled under Cordelia’s ear. The soft fingers on his skin continued their slow caress. The glistening white and red faded, only to be replaced with the now familiar cold gripping fear and a further glimpse of billowing blue and black.
“I’m not hurting her. Is that why you are here? I’d never hurt her,” Angel muttered into Cordelia’s shoulder.
“Angel? Who? Who aren’t you hurting?”
His head whipped back, perplexed eyes open wide. “What....what did I say,” he asked blankly.
“There’s someone - a she - that you would never hurt - that was after the creepy blood on ice stuff. Do you remember?”
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Well - ‘everything is okay’ would be a good start.” Cordelia ran her hands down Angel’s arms and covered the still clenched fists. “How about you try and relax these?”
“A memory, that’s all.” Angel made an effort and uncurled his fingers. Cordelia held his hands in her own.
“Do you want to tell me?”
“No! I can’t...I should really talk to Wesley.” He saw sorrow creep into the beautiful eyes. “Cordelia - this is kind of a guy thing - I think....not that I can’t talk to you...”
Cordelia looked skeptical. “No offence, but is Wesley the type of guy you want to be discussing guy stuff with?
“Let me try him first, okay?”
“Speaking of - here he comes,” announced Cordelia, looking down the boardwalk.
“For a fun night this has turned out kind of intense, huh?” she asked as they watched Wesley’s approach.
“Come on, we’d better get back to reality,” said Angel as he clasped Cordelia’s hand and helped her to her feet.
“Oh? I thought that was where we were,” said Cordelia.
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Disclaimer: The characters are Joss Whedon's, Mutant Enemy's and probably a heap of other people about
whom I know nothing.
I lay no claim to ownership of the characters, I simply like to ask them out to play now and then.